Wednesday, November 14, 2012

025. Spirituality

Something has been changing within me. Monday was my 20th birthday, and while I did very little in the way of celebrating it, I can't help but feel as though it's been a huge event in my life. I've spent the past three years being very sick. Although I would have considered myself a happy person, it is as though my body has been constantly holding me back. I think maybe it stemmed from a deep, intuitive knowledge that I had not yet found my path. I recognize now that for a long time, I have been holding MYSELF back. I've spent a long time looking for a quick fix for my many physical ailments, but what I've realized in the past month or so is that I have to cure myself. EVERYTHING that I want, I have to do for myself. Since summer, I have been on an intense diet for the sake of my illness. Although many girls would be thrilled to have lost the weight that I lost, I looked at myself and only saw someone who was sick. Although I am in college, I can not drink with my friends, or even stay out late. Eating at restaurants was unbearably stressful, as I couldn't eat anything on the menu. While I was content with who I was as a person, I hated my body for putting me through such misery. I felt sorry for myself. I felt victimized and trapped. My body controlled my mind, but now I've begun to realize the importance of letting my mind and spirit control my body.

I am still on the intense diet and countless different supplements prescribed by naturopaths and based on internet findings, but I am finally starting to truly understand how healing works from the inside out. I have learned that personally, in order to feel happy and fulfilled, a spiritual journey must in some way be part of my lifestyle. I believe that I have powerful, untapped potential. In fact, I believe that EVERYONE has powerful, untapped potential. I go to a great college. I've always considered myself an 'academic'. I want to be smart. I want to be well-read. I want to be an expert in something, but I realize now that I must first learn how to balance my mind, body, and spirit. The priority is happiness. I have always been very passionate about the study of Anthropology, but I see now that it shouldn't be my main life objective. For me at least, reading an academic paper is not the purest way of bettering myself.

I know that the spiritual is not everyone's 'cup of tea'. If you're not interested in this post, don't read it. I have no intention of making spirituality the focus of my blog, but I do want to post on it now and then. My main purpose for writing about this here is to affirm my commitment to it. I do not expect to find '10 quick steps to enlightenment'. For those of you who have read Salinger's Franny & Zooey, I don't expect to just say the Jesus prayer until I understand the universe. This is about how I want to live my life. This is a lifestyle blog, and this is part of my lifestyle. For those of you who are interested, here are some spiritual things I've been looking at for information and motivation:

On Netflix:

(clicking image will bring you to movie's netflix page)
1. Happy: This documentary isn't necessarily focused on spirituality, but is simply about what makes people happy. They talk to people who are happy despite a lack of material wealth and try to discern what life factors lead to happiness.
2. Ayurveda: The Art of Being: This documentary about the miracle healing brought about by Ayurvedic medicine and an Ayurvedic lifestyle. Many of the stories featured are really unbelievable, and they speak of curing things like cancer and blindness. This movie really inspired me and led me to look into guides to living according to some of these values.
3. Enlighten Up!: This documentary focuses on a very skeptical journalist's journey into yoga. He doesn't believe in any type spirituality or religion. As the documentary maker tries to force some sort of spiritual awakening, they travel to India to meet a series of different guru-like figures, each giving a different view of yoga and the gates it can open for an individual.

On Youtube:

1. Spirit Science: Although sometimes not as thoroughly researched as it may seem, this youtube series consists of short 8-11 minute videos about spiritual topics. Everything from chakras to the frequencies of different dimensions and to sacred geometry are explored. Admittedly, some of these videos are put together much better than others, but every single one offers at least some interesting food for thought. The best part? They're all told through the voice of an adorable little animated avatar.

2. Tibetan Singing Bowl Meditations: I absolutely love these. they put me in a relaxed state more quickly than any other meditation method I've ever tried. The youtube channel (linked through the image above) is great because each of the meditations vary in length. Whether you want to do a twenty-minute meditation or an hour long meditation, they have one available. I have a friend who's been using me as practice for her Reiki healing techniques, and playing these in the background makes it much more intense!

While I know this might not interest everyone, I hope at least some of you will click a few of these links! Like I said, I hope to be doing posts like this every now and then!


  1. This is really cool!

    I myself am Buddhist, and my family and I go to a monastery. I don't think I believe in god, and I'm not sure about afterlife, but I do believe in the Buddhist morals and ideas, so I use Buddhism as sort of a compass.

    I think it's really cool that you are doing all this research!

    I'm sorry you are sick. :(

    Happy birthday!


  2. This is so eye opening! Lately I've been really interested in the whole mind, body, and spirit thing. I sort of prefer spirituality over religion. I feel like spirituality is more personal, where religion is focused more on tenets and principles and being faithful to an all encompassing being rather than to yourself. I feel like Buddhism is such an interesting religion, because it's more so spiritual than religious, and Buddhists don't necessarily worship Buddha, but more so strive to achieve the purity he has.

    I'm also so obsessed with pentagrams. The meaning behind pentagrams depending on the culture is so interesting!

    xx eva

  3. great post! I really hope you find what you need :)
    happy belated b-day and many more!

  4. Adorable post!!! Would you like to follow each other? let me know or you can follow me and I will follow you back! xoxo

  5. these look great. and happy birthday!
    i have a friend who is in and out of illnesses so i can see how it really affects your life and your ability to function from day to day.
    we can only hope that each day is better than the last.
    i just had my birthday and i'm focusing as much as possible on growing and doing the best i can. :)
    good luck in the future!

  6. I love studying the spirit world! My mom is a Reiki master. It's really fascinating stuff to think about.